Tuesday, June 26, 2007

June 13, 2006



I like to go back and read the journal I used to write in religiously...So Im gonna share some of it...

"So what do you want me to do? You can be sneaky all you want but don't you know I'll find out? How do you explect me to be head over heels when shes pulling the rug out from under me and you.

I know you have too many notches for your bed post to show, but they shouldn't be still adding up. You said the carving was done. So why do the numbers keep poppin up?

She spits her words out at a close friend because she knows the damage she wants to do. Now whether or not it's true is whats making me disapprove of this encounter between you and I.

*****

That awkward conversation was forced upon me Monday between me and someone who never fails to start a pointless fight. I gave him up, but it seems like I gave up a like that I used to have too. It was like breaking it up broke my friend apart from me too. Yes we work but not 24/7. Phone calls aren't being made between friends. I'm missing out on everything, but its ok for now.

*****

I can't seem to get the past out of my head. Lately my first broken relationship is lingering in the front of my mind. He's gotten me out of his head I believe, and has his new obsession. As I write this my moms alarm is on and as I'm talking about him his myspace song comes on. Weird.

Anyways, I miss old times. There are too many problems and not enough solutions in my life. i'm lonely and nothing seems to fix it. Lonely=Broken right now so I guess call me broken.

It's not that i want our relationship back. Thats not what i want. But to be friends would make it ok. I miss his friends that were once mine. My lonliness isnt fair to anyone but you."