Sunday, November 18, 2007

done



I'm emotionally drained, but not really so I'm told. As everything going wrong in our relationship is my fault. I'm two feet from the edge and right now jumping looks so good. I'm so fed up. Why am I always the one to have to change? I've already changed so much for this fool and yet it's still my fault. I can't even stick up for myself because that me "turning the blame on him again." So I guess I'm just suppose to sit quietly and not speak to anyone.

I have never been yelled at like that in my entire life. And if I were to yell at him like that he would have left a long time ago. I wish I could just disappear.

He can ignore me for days...when I try I end up giving in. I don't even know what to do. He's so immature is sickening. I don't see him growing out of it anytime soon. I think I need to get out.

He doesn't even care. Writing this is making me hate his guts. I truly hate him right now. Like, I have never felt a hate like this in my life. A hate that i know is because I can't change him to be better.

hate.

Friday, November 9, 2007

It's been 1 year and 5 months....



When things seem too good to be true is a sign to get out right away. Good thing I wasn't a foot in deeper cuz then I might care. I should have stopped the clock to keep myself from wasting my time. Out so called relationship was built on lies. Well your side was. My side was torn down the day I labeled you as a liar. You should feel proud of yourself for being the first person ever to trick me into thinking you were worth it. You're obviously confused with what you want which sucks for you cuz something you could have had you lost. You can't help that your foolish games can't work with me. You lose. Forever.

Monday, November 5, 2007




Just when you think you've hit an all time low something worse happens and just drop kicks you when you down. I don't know how to deal with losing someone so close, I've been lucky enough thus far. I don't even know what to do anymore except pray. Nothing makes this go away. I've never been so sad, scared, broken before in my life.