No one really know the real me. What I feel is always different than what I say. It's not me trying to be fake, it's just me blocking out the world because they don't belong. Everyone tells me to open up and share whats inside. I can't. That is not how I am. I am no an open book like most can claim to be. I like the fact that no one knows what goes on inside me.
Though the one person who I should and want to open up to doesn't really seem to care. He may ell me that he does a 1,000 times but something doesn't feel genuine about these particular words. It's the way he acts and talks and responds to me that keeps me closed still to this day. I don't know how to explain it to him without him getting upset. I'll just have to wait until he stops only caring for himself. Though he'll never admit to it, and I'll never be able to explain. I'm hoping he will grow out of his selfishness that he posesses as of now. He can't see it, but others can, and so can I.
It's there, hopefully not staying long.
Goodnight
