Fare Thee Well...

So tomorrow is my last shift before I'm on the road and out of this place. For a little while at least. I'm thinking that I will get there and realize that I don't want to leave. In that case, I guess this is goodbye for even longer than I planned. Which would make me OH SO happy.

I can't wait to get out of here. There are a lot of things I would like to do these next few days I'm gone. And think back to my life now while I'm there is NOT one of those things. I will absolutely not be turning back for even a second. I hate you MI. I hope you die while I'm gone.

just love me

Is this some kind of sick joke?

I believe you all [guys] are in this together. Like you all had a "Lets fuck with Leez" meeting after "psycho" broke up with me and here were the key points to emphasize on...

1.) Pretend you're normal.
2.) Act like you are different than the last.
3.) Then start getting pissed cuz she works too much.
4.) Ask why she's getting distant.
5.) CLING CLING CLING!
6.) Ask if theres someone else.
7.) KILL YOURSELF!!!!!

Ok i added that last one in for my own personal enjoyment. ANYWAYS, another one bites the dust i guess. I'm just so annoyed.

I think I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. Unless ya know Edward Cullen comes around...OR Rob Pattinson...hahaha I will gladly take either.



I am beginning to think I am hopeless...I dunno how I feel about being the cat lady.



Scaring all the neighborhood kids by staring out the window curtains and never leaving my house except to take out the garbage and get the mail. They won't come to my house on halloween either. And they will dare the new kid in town to knock on my door. "DAMMIT KIDS!! JUST LEAVE ME AND MY CATS ALONE!" Then wave my cane at them while my hand is at my lower back...PAIN!!!

Ok I think I'm done with that....lmfao that made me laugh, I dunno where that came from but it's all I got.

One Love

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." -EC

I woke up this morning looking like Sloth from The Goonies...Man I'd kill to watch that movie right now...lol HEYY YOUUU GUYYSS!!




I didnt even go to work..SCREW THAT! I'm just praying to the Lord above that the swelling goes down enough that i won't be completely and utterly humiliated at work tomorrow. UGH!!!

My BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF is coming home from FLA! WOOOOP! I cant wait...This weekend is gonna be very bad for my health..lol VERY BAD!!!




You know when you sit and wait for something to happen, and it just doesn't happen. THen when u effin forget about it...BADA BING! there it isss!!! I hate that shit dude. More than anything. Cuz by the time you 'forget' about it, you just don't care for it as much as you did...or something else had occupied your life...and yeah..are you following this? I don't think i even get what im saying......whateevverrrr...


My life seems very pointless....BAH!

It makes no sense at alllllll

Lately I have been having the WEIRDEST!!!! dreams ever...let me show you about who...





...weird right? They are so wild lately dude.

I need to get out of here and i've been in a 'less depressed' mood lately cuz i dunno what it is, but i just FEEL like its gonna happen soon. Like MY DREAMS are getting closer for some reason and i have NO idea why. Nothing really has changed. I've made a few arrangements to get my portfolio done soon. And i've been "dieting.." well trying to at least...lol

It's HARD!!!



SIGH!


Anyways, i hate the winter...its snowing right now...



cute you would think, but not really...fucking cold, fuckin snow, fuckin winter, BOO I HATE YOU!


So i texted you sat night, and u responded cuz you didnt have my number in your phone. You asked me the most ridiculous question on this planet. I answered no, but i dont think you believe me. Im quite sad and disgusted that you would actually deem that statement as true...you jerk. You told me you were gonna call me sun, you never did. ::sad face:::

We were really close at one point, and you are ONE of the FEW that i actually opened up to and told everything to. Then you disappeared. Im sad mad hurt depressed without you in my life. I wish you would come back.

What?! Am I a CRAZZIEE magnet??

What is it about me that just attracts those crazy boys? I mean wtf dude, i get you wanna be in a relationship and wanna hang out, but since im working a full time job, im not gonna be able to spend every waking moment with you.

It's funny how much im realizing lately that being raised around boys totally fucks up the way you act in a relationship. Yes I am a girl, but i absolutely do not think like one whatsoever. I can't fuckin stand drama. And if you think that girls are the only ones that thrive on the 'dramz,':::NEWS FLASH KIDS!::: BOYS ARE JUST AS BAD! True story.


And jealousy? WTF! I dunno what im gonna do honestly. I think i may be doomed forever to a single life. Not like it's a bad thing for now.

I got bigger plans than making you happy right now buddy. I got some unfinished BIZNASS that needs takin' care of. And drying your tears cuz i cant hang out with you 24/7 is not one of them. Sorry i had to let you go so soon, but maybe the other crazy that you left for me will be willing to take you back. I'd bet my life you didn't "lose something real for me."

Much love, well NOT realllyyy...

i'm saying things i should've never thought.

I have no idea what i'm doing anymore. my life has become so routine that it is driving me absolutely insane. i'm annoyed with everything in life. job; parents; friends; life; house; room; people; state; weather; hair; face; EVERYTHING. i can't stand being where i am anymore. i need to get out and i don't know how. i don't know how to change. to be happier more alive that i feel right now. i need to leave where i am but i have no where to go.


what the fuck am i suppose to do.

its people like you that make me want to...

i tend to surround myself with people who i cannot understand. someone who i know in the end will only hurt me in ways that i cant prevent anymore. its like ive opened a door that i should have kept closed, locked up, and should have thrown away the key. I know exactly who you are, and what you do, and what you are perfectly capable of. yeah, and i know you cant change who you are, but im still gonna sit here and think you might be able to. silly really. how many times must i put myself in these same situations. over and over again.

over


and





over






again....