Is this some kind of sick joke?

I believe you all [guys] are in this together. Like you all had a "Lets fuck with Leez" meeting after "psycho" broke up with me and here were the key points to emphasize on...

1.) Pretend you're normal.
2.) Act like you are different than the last.
3.) Then start getting pissed cuz she works too much.
4.) Ask why she's getting distant.
5.) CLING CLING CLING!
6.) Ask if theres someone else.
7.) KILL YOURSELF!!!!!

Ok i added that last one in for my own personal enjoyment. ANYWAYS, another one bites the dust i guess. I'm just so annoyed.

I think I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life. Unless ya know Edward Cullen comes around...OR Rob Pattinson...hahaha I will gladly take either.



I am beginning to think I am hopeless...I dunno how I feel about being the cat lady.



Scaring all the neighborhood kids by staring out the window curtains and never leaving my house except to take out the garbage and get the mail. They won't come to my house on halloween either. And they will dare the new kid in town to knock on my door. "DAMMIT KIDS!! JUST LEAVE ME AND MY CATS ALONE!" Then wave my cane at them while my hand is at my lower back...PAIN!!!

Ok I think I'm done with that....lmfao that made me laugh, I dunno where that came from but it's all I got.

One Love

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." -EC

I woke up this morning looking like Sloth from The Goonies...Man I'd kill to watch that movie right now...lol HEYY YOUUU GUYYSS!!




I didnt even go to work..SCREW THAT! I'm just praying to the Lord above that the swelling goes down enough that i won't be completely and utterly humiliated at work tomorrow. UGH!!!

My BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF is coming home from FLA! WOOOOP! I cant wait...This weekend is gonna be very bad for my health..lol VERY BAD!!!




You know when you sit and wait for something to happen, and it just doesn't happen. THen when u effin forget about it...BADA BING! there it isss!!! I hate that shit dude. More than anything. Cuz by the time you 'forget' about it, you just don't care for it as much as you did...or something else had occupied your life...and yeah..are you following this? I don't think i even get what im saying......whateevverrrr...


My life seems very pointless....BAH!

It makes no sense at alllllll

Lately I have been having the WEIRDEST!!!! dreams ever...let me show you about who...





...weird right? They are so wild lately dude.

I need to get out of here and i've been in a 'less depressed' mood lately cuz i dunno what it is, but i just FEEL like its gonna happen soon. Like MY DREAMS are getting closer for some reason and i have NO idea why. Nothing really has changed. I've made a few arrangements to get my portfolio done soon. And i've been "dieting.." well trying to at least...lol

It's HARD!!!



SIGH!


Anyways, i hate the winter...its snowing right now...



cute you would think, but not really...fucking cold, fuckin snow, fuckin winter, BOO I HATE YOU!


So i texted you sat night, and u responded cuz you didnt have my number in your phone. You asked me the most ridiculous question on this planet. I answered no, but i dont think you believe me. Im quite sad and disgusted that you would actually deem that statement as true...you jerk. You told me you were gonna call me sun, you never did. ::sad face:::

We were really close at one point, and you are ONE of the FEW that i actually opened up to and told everything to. Then you disappeared. Im sad mad hurt depressed without you in my life. I wish you would come back.

What?! Am I a CRAZZIEE magnet??

What is it about me that just attracts those crazy boys? I mean wtf dude, i get you wanna be in a relationship and wanna hang out, but since im working a full time job, im not gonna be able to spend every waking moment with you.

It's funny how much im realizing lately that being raised around boys totally fucks up the way you act in a relationship. Yes I am a girl, but i absolutely do not think like one whatsoever. I can't fuckin stand drama. And if you think that girls are the only ones that thrive on the 'dramz,':::NEWS FLASH KIDS!::: BOYS ARE JUST AS BAD! True story.


And jealousy? WTF! I dunno what im gonna do honestly. I think i may be doomed forever to a single life. Not like it's a bad thing for now.

I got bigger plans than making you happy right now buddy. I got some unfinished BIZNASS that needs takin' care of. And drying your tears cuz i cant hang out with you 24/7 is not one of them. Sorry i had to let you go so soon, but maybe the other crazy that you left for me will be willing to take you back. I'd bet my life you didn't "lose something real for me."

Much love, well NOT realllyyy...

i'm saying things i should've never thought.

I have no idea what i'm doing anymore. my life has become so routine that it is driving me absolutely insane. i'm annoyed with everything in life. job; parents; friends; life; house; room; people; state; weather; hair; face; EVERYTHING. i can't stand being where i am anymore. i need to get out and i don't know how. i don't know how to change. to be happier more alive that i feel right now. i need to leave where i am but i have no where to go.


what the fuck am i suppose to do.

its people like you that make me want to...

i tend to surround myself with people who i cannot understand. someone who i know in the end will only hurt me in ways that i cant prevent anymore. its like ive opened a door that i should have kept closed, locked up, and should have thrown away the key. I know exactly who you are, and what you do, and what you are perfectly capable of. yeah, and i know you cant change who you are, but im still gonna sit here and think you might be able to. silly really. how many times must i put myself in these same situations. over and over again.

over


and





over






again....

You made me do it...you and the jager

So I just wanted to let you know after 4 jagerbombs and yelling "I got a new fuckin haircut" to random people in canada, and finally after I said goodbye to you on saturday night I walked back to the car screaming at every male in the street's of Windsor. Wanna know why? Because you FUCKIN suck! That is the exact reason why. You make no sense. I'm pretty sure I got into about 3 SCREAM fights with 3 different groups of guys. I didn't even know these fools, it just felt excellent to pretend that I was actually screaming at you. I would actually recommend this for you girls who are also being fucked over by mentally retarded guys...just yell at anyone with a penis.

I fuckin get it, your ignoring me cuz i ignored you for however long...but um HELLO fucktard, MY reason was WAAYYYY more legit than YOURS. So that is why i think ur not telling me something...You got a gf don't you? Don't fuckin lie to me!


Ok i think im good now

later kids

where do we go from here?!

Confusion in a mask. It's not that time of year, so what's really going on? It's a game whether or not you believe it. You've told this tall tale so often now even you believe it. You needed a way out and you took the way I knew you would. I knew from the start that you were a coward in guys clothing. I hoped you weren't gonna end up the way I never thought it would. You're exactly what you said you weren't no matter how much you try to sway me away from it. No matter how much you deny it, or lie to me, you're still lying to yourself. I should have caught the signs when you threw them at me. Maybe I would've been able to stop myself from getting any deeper, or falling any harder.

You tricked me more than anyone I've ever known. Lying to me to keep me around is evil. What you think is helping is really hurting more than you'll ever know. This freedom you so desperately want will come back around and kick you in the ass, and honestly I can't wait. You always have to be the victim, and I'm sick of it. You're making the biggest mistake of your life. You better make sure you want this if I chose I don't. And it's getting to that point every passing day.

"Hermione," said Harry, shaking his head, "you're good on feelings and stuff, but you just don't understand about Quidditch."

Best friends tell eachother everything, though you tell me nothing. Important? I think not. They just tell you what you want to hear. How true that statement is. I'm the last one to find anything out, but should be the first. I dont feel like we're friends at all...im just there to speak when spoken too, jump when asked and etc. Whatever, we'll see about that.

I'm sick of being 2nd to everything. When I should at least be 1.2.

BAHHHH